Date yourself first.

Date yourself. Seriously, it’s great. Cliched self-improvement blog post title aside, taking time out for yourself is important. Whether it’s slobbing in PJs watching Gossip Girl or writing some blog posts with a face mask on – Being alone can be, and should be, great.

The thing about dating is that you can totally lose yourself (not like the Eminem song) doing it. There’s excitement before the date. Whether you’re dating for casual sex or a more long term relationship, there’s always expectation. This is entirely normal. You should be excited, interested and nervous in the person you’re going on a date with. But over time, it just gets draining.

I recently took the decision to stop dating (for a while). I was getting lost in it. I also was sacrificing my time on hobbies considerably more fulfilling than modern dating. Blogging was taking a hit. I was too tired for roller derby and I was getting sick of dates with idiots.

What I’m trying to say is that I lost sight of myself. I was getting anxious over ‘who’s going to text back the next day’, whether my body’s good enough and questioning my personality. I was beginning to doubt everything about myself, because you naturally seek reassurance that you’re a ‘normal person’ when you’re dating somebody.

I’m considerably happier not dating. Even though everybody expects me to be miserable, with the classic ‘You’ll find someone eventually’ talk, I’m happiest right now. It’s so ingrained that single women should be miserable or less fulfilled because of their relationship status. I shouldn’t have to defend this clearly obvious fact – It makes me so irritable that I have to.

So after a few months of dating, I’m ready for a break and here I am saying to you, it’s completely fine to not date.

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I’m Eleanor, a UK Manchester based Lifestyle & Beauty Blogger. I write about beauty products, feminism, mental health and my adventures in the big city of MCR.