I recently watched a TED Talks video called ‘The Power of Introverts’. In it, Susan Cain talks about how a lot of people naturally more introverted put themselves into ‘self-negating’ situations, in order to appear social or make friends. And I’ve got a few thoughts about it obvs and how being alone is actually pretty great sometimes.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love a few drinks. I love meeting new people. I love trying new things. But for the first 6 months I lived in Manchester, I was out all the time in the evenings at sports clubs, meet ups, and social events. It just left me feeling a bit drained after a while, knowing a lot of acquaintances but not many friends.
I’ve learnt that I’m actually very happy being alone and creative in my own space. I’ve started to overcome one of my biggest insecurities – being lonely.
Sometimes I just prefer to be alone, rather than being social and this can have weird repercussions. I think a lot of people associate it with being shy (depending on what you are like). A lot of people can see it as anti-social at times. And a few just find it rude or awkward. Which is just bizarre to be honest.
It’s been such a huge stepping stone for me not to adhere to other people’s expectations as well. I’ve learnt to say no more and have some more perspective about things. Learning to not have FOMO every time I’m not up to something has been better for my mental health, which in turn helps in a lot of aspects of my life.
Going to coffee shops, restaurants, shops, galleries, and museums on my own, without feeling like a weirdo has been great. My boyfriend who lives two hours away is naturally quite introverted and enjoys doing his own thing and seeing him accept it, has in turn helped me.
Now I’m not anti-social. But I have learnt to finally accept being alone and actually content. To not cling to others and their attention, but rather do my own thing as well. You can also see my post all about a realistic mental health self care checklist.