I don’t know about you, but when I got home from uni, I basically had no one in my local area.
Making friends, as an adult, is really hard, not going to lie.
At first I found it really difficult, but then I soon slipped into my introverted side and discovered blogging and a whole host of other things that helped me out.
A little back story, I’ve never had a big group of friends, which to be honest I think is a good thing. I’ve always had a select few, but when I came back to a graduate job and nothing people outside of it, I did find it difficult.
I live in a small town in Greater Manchester and everyone basically moved away. (Oh woe be me) Whether it was to move in with partners, start PhD’s or just move abroad, there wasn’t really anyone around.
These tips/steps may sound painfully obvious, but hopefully this will give you a little more confidence.
I joined a local Roller Derby team for their newbie nights a few months ago and honestly it’s been the best. Sports clubs are so much different to what they were in secondary school.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that every sports club will be amazing. But now is a great opportunity to ‘try something new’. If you’d have told me I’d be training in roller derby 7 years ago I would’ve laughed so hard.
Most sports clubs offer taster sessions and everybody’s been in virtually the same boat, a beginner. They challenge so much about yourself and push you out of your comfort zone.
I confess, I hate doing things I’m not particularly great at. But deep down I know there’s room to learn new things and that motivates me.
Okay don’t reach out to shitbags – That’s not what I’m saying. But reaching out to people that you once were close to can be a good thing.
It’s also important to say not to chase people. People are very disappointing. I’ve started noticing recently that I’ve started overcomplicating meeting friends. If I’m going out to eat, sometimes it’s nice to reach out to someone if they want to join. Just being more open has really helped with me.
I love catching up with people because there’s always so much to talk about, because you’ve not spoken in a while. It gets you out of the house and actually speaking to real life people.
This sounds painfully obvious but honestly, it’s so hard and it shouldn’t be. A great resource is Meetup.com which is quite self-explanatory – a site for meet ups.
Choose something you’re passionate about and want to learn more about.
It took me at least a year to be able to find groups to join. As a general rule, the most common social groups and societies are book clubs, film societies and women’s institutes.
I’ve also seen groups for learning code, women in science, women in business – There’s a whole host of different clubs, it just may take time to find the right one. I’ve seen workshops for dressmaking, crochet – There’s something for pretty much everyone. If there’s something you’re interested in learning, now’s the time!
I think my biggest piece of advice for making friends as an adult is being more open.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve not exactly hacked it completely this whole adulting social life. Being more open, trying new things has opened up so many opportunities I would have ignored previously.
Also be kind to yourself. Don’t stress about it (Easier said than done, I know…)
I’m Eleanor, a UK Manchester based Lifestyle & Beauty Blogger. I write about beauty products, feminism, mental health and my adventures in the big city of MCR.